A recovery story
“Too severe to ever be cured”
That is what the NHS told Jen, who had severe emetophobia and two other phobias besides. She got through the programme anyway. These are her own messages, sent while she was still in the middle of it and struggling.
“I was told by NHS mental health services I’m too severe to ever be cured of my phobias.”
“When I started this course my GP had diagnosed me with a breakdown. Had been bed bound for four months. Wasn’t eating solid food.”
“This programme is my last hope but now my sessions are technically over — where am I going wrong that I’m not cured?”
“I believe in this thing, I do. It has taught me so much and I know it will set me up for life.”
“I was putting in too much effort before I had the knowledge and beliefs to put effort in the right place.”
“My own perfectionism was putting too much pressure on me to be 100% better.”
Why the struggle is so common
What Jen describes happens to a great many people working through a major phobia, and emetophobia is one of the hardest. Two things in her own words explain most of it.
The first: putting in enormous effort before having the knowledge to aim that effort anywhere useful. Good few days, then a crash, then another good few days. Effort in the wrong place is exhausting and changes very little.
The second: perfectionism. Demanding to be 100% better, treating anything less as failure, and then punishing yourself for the shortfall. That pattern on its own is enough to keep a phobia in place — there is a whole page on perfectionist thinking and why it does this.
What happened to Jen
She kept going, with one of our coaches, and she overcame it. The service that told her she was beyond help was wrong.
People experience this phobia very differently, which is why we built an Emetophobia Severity Scale — it is worth taking to see where you actually sit rather than guessing.
If you have been told the same thing
Being told you are too severe is not a diagnosis, it is a statement about the treatment on offer. This programme works on the beliefs and the need for control underneath the fear, which is why severity is not the obstacle it is usually taken to be. Here is how that works.
Bella Ramsey had this too.
And came out the other side.
“It’s not controlling my life anymore.”
The BAFTA-winning actor — The Worst Witch, Game of Thrones, The Last of Us — was housebound at one point as a teenager, and took travel sickness tablets and antacids to get through a working day on set. They had tried self-help books, CBT and hypnotherapy. None of it worked.
Bella went through this programme, and describes no longer thinking about sickness, no longer being frightened of it, and no longer letting it decide what they can and can’t do. They talk about all of it, openly, in their own words.
Listen to the episode →
Where to next?
Everything else you might want to read.