Emetophobia — The Secret Phobia

Did you know that Rob nearly called the manual ‘The Secret Phobia’? When it was first launched in 2014, emetophobia really wasn’t widely known about, with a research study finding that around 68% of the interviewed psychologists, GPs and specialists hadn’t heard the term. Although social media has raised awareness of mental health problems, relatively speaking there’s still very little awareness of emetophobia in the wider population. Joe shares how he gets messages all the time from sufferers saying they didn’t know there was a term for how they felt, or even that there were other people out there going through the same problems.

Social anxiety, low self-esteem and desire for control

Emetophobes tend to have high social anxiety and low self-esteem, particularly around their phobia, although they are experts at masking this. They often feel embarrassed about having this fear, and are extremely self-critical and self-judgemental for having a fear which they perceive as ‘silly’ or ‘ridiculous’.

Joe shares how, as an 18-year-old, he couldn’t tell anyone about his phobia, not even his then girlfriend, thinking people would think he was weird or bizarre for worrying about vomit. When he couldn’t go on holiday, he told people he was afraid of flying — which he thought they’d be able to understand — instead of the fact that he was really terrified of vomiting on a plane. He told people he was a vegetarian, instead of saying he was terrified of meat or fish not being cooked properly. He checked every restaurant review before eating out, and would make excuses to friends if they had a rating of 4 stars or under.

Staying in control of the narrative

Emetophobes make up excuses all the time to feel in control of people’s perceptions of them. The secrecy and excuses stop them being challenged on behaviour that seems idiosyncratic. It stops people belittling or diminishing something that seems so all-consuming into a ‘really? That’s all you’re worried about?’

Most close friends and family don’t even know people have emetophobia. When you’ve got someone who has high social anxiety and low self-esteem, and they’ve got a phobia which they think is silly or ridiculous or embarrassing or stupid (which it’s not!), they’re likely to keep it hidden.

Another reason emetophobia is considered a secret phobia is that many people with a fear of throwing up may not even realise they have it. They may notice certain behaviours or avoidances, such as not wanting to go out to certain places or events, but they may not connect it to their fear of vomiting.

It’s a double-edged sword: sufferers feel afraid to tell people about their phobia, but a lack of awareness about emetophobia contributes to feelings of embarrassment and isolation. In the episode, Rob emphasises the importance of raising awareness and providing support for those with emetophobia, which is exactly what we’ve been doing for 30+ years.

This episode featured discussion between Joe Manuel and Rob Kelly.