Cure your Emetophobia and Thrive – Chapter 7 preview..
Cure your Emetophobia and Thrive – Chapter 7 preview.. Chapter Seven: Personality Types
…Who Are You?
We all have a ‘personality type’ – the collective character, behavioural, temperamental, emotional, social, and cognitive traits that are specific to each one of us. Our personality (and our ‘Unhelpful Thinking Styles’ – see Chapter 8) significantly influences the way we experience life. For example, think about the place where you are right now whilst studying this book. Your ‘experience’ of being there – how warm/happy/comfortable/relaxed/safe/energised etc. you feel – isn’t reality, it’s reality after it’s been filtered through your personality, your mood, and your various cognitive traits and unhelpful thinking styles.
Our personality is created through a combination of nature and nurture (see, for example, Meaney, 2001). Our genes play some role in determining who we are; intelligence is, for example, a strongly inheritable trait. Environmental factors, e.g. how we were brought up by our parents and the events we experienced in childhood, and even adulthood, also play a role in the development of our personality.
In understanding how you have created and maintained your limiting beliefs it is helpful to look at the component parts of your personality. Gaining this personal insight enables you to understand and pinpoint the factors that have been contributing to your damaging belief systems, allowing you to change these to something working for you rather than against you.
There are many different models of personality and personality types. Some (such as Carl Jung) focus on whether the person is more ‘introverted’ or ‘extroverted’ (this was later adapted into the most used personality test of modern times, The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator ‘MBTI’), some involve projection (such as the TAT, Thematic Apperception Test, or the Rorschach Inkblot Test) and some relate to periods of psychological development and the types of symptoms that (tend) to develop during (or because of) that period in the child’s formative years, such as the Freudian model. This list of personality tests is not exhaustive by the way, there are hundreds of different types of test in use – these are simply some of the most common.
Probably the best personality test/indicator for us to use is one that is based on everyday symptoms and thinking styles, as this will give us the most insight into your predispositions and symptoms. The following three basic personality types are ‘borrowed’ from my training course in Pure Hypnoanalysis and clinical hypnotherapy, but, to be fair, I originally ‘borrowed’ them from traditional psychoanalysis. These personality types are largely just groups of thinking styles (of which we will be exploring some unhelpful ones in chapter 8), so it is possible to influence your personality by changing the way in which you think!
Everyone, every single human being, could be described as a combination of the following three personality types. No one is 100% of any one of the three – everyone is a combination of all three in varying proportions. BUT, most people can usually identify themselves as mainly one of the types, with a bit of the other two thrown in.
The Carer
The first personality type that we are going to look at we will call the Carer, as this sort of character has a very compassionate, loving nature. Carers tend to be rather introverted and reserved, they are essentially shy people at heart.
These people tend to be rather self centred (as is everyone in some sense – obviously you are a pretty significant person in your own life!), but certainly not selfish or obsessed with self-gain. People with this type of personality do, however, refer everything inwards; they view every single experience in relation to themselves. As a result of this inclination, they have a strong tendency to self-blame. They are willing to see their own failings and admit to mistakes, but can often take this to the extreme of blaming themselves for anything at all that goes wrong. They can become easily hurt and readily affected by others’ emotions.
Carers tend to be imaginative and spend time daydreaming and fantasising. They will regularly build up forthcoming events, and then overreact with misery and despair when the reality does not quite live up to the perfectly-imagined fantasy. They are often creative and artistic but frequently struggle to express themselves fully. They can also be somewhat over-sensitive, and sentimental.
Carers have a good understanding of other people and tend to be very tolerant and empathetic. They are not preoccupied by financial gain or self-aggrandisement; they are essentially honest, sincere people, who would not exploit others. They care about other people’s feelings and would not like to cause others any harm. Carers often, however, see themselves as being somewhat set apart from others…
The Brooder
The Brooder personality is, in many ways, very different from the Carer. As I said before, though, people are usually a combination of personality types, albeit normally with one dominant side. So, even if you have already identified very strongly with the Carer personality, don’t dismiss this section, as you will quite probably, also, notice some of the Brooder in yourself.
Brooders spend a lot of time thinking and worrying about their life. Rather than compulsively making themselves feel better right now, they can offset their pleasure a long time into the future. In fact, they get pleasure from being able to defer their pleasure! As a result, they are likely to be very committed to carrying out their plans and goals, rather than flitting between whatever makes them feel good in the moment.
Brooders are not driven by emotions like the Carer. Their most important needs are safety, security, health, money and power. They are not motivated to fit nicely within their society, but to rise above it and feel secure in a position of authority and power. Their own long-term happiness and stability is the thing that is most on their mind. Due to the focused and driven nature of this personality, they can often come across as very single-minded and even a little bit selfish.
The brooder can spend hours, days and even weeks pondering or worrying over some small decision. This can be great if the pondering is positive, as this intense thinking tends to lead to many new ideas. Brooders are responsible for 99.9% of all inventions in the world. Nobody else would spend days locked in a room with a computer trying to design, for example, a wind turbine blade with 0.3% greater efficiency than any other on the market. The competitive and determined nature of the Brooder means that people with this type of personality are often very successful. This is the personality type most likely to run a successful business, be an international sportsperson, or win a Nobel Prize for a key scientific discovery.
On the other hand, ‘brooding’ is a short stop away from ‘obsessing’, and, if stressed, the tendency to brood and ruminate will likely develop into a full-blown obsessional disorder where the sufferer is absolutely plagued with stressful recurring thoughts 24/7. As with anybody, when the person gets stressed, the drive towards meeting their main needs in life gets stronger and more determined.
It’s no surprise that the most common obsession, and the starting point for most obsessive disorders, is hand washing (not ‘compulsive hand washing’ as the medical professional describes it; there is nothing compulsive about it). The Brooder’s preoccupation with health, cleanliness and hygiene (the opposite of ‘feeling dirty’!) turns into a very, VERY focused attempt to remove ALL contaminated matter (dirt and grime) from their hands, sometimes washing them many times every hour.
Brooders tend to be rather closed people, who are not very sensitive to their emotions and do not tend to express them. When stressed, Brooders basically become even more closed (locked inside their own head, shutting out the outside world). This ability to shut out annoying things like ‘feelings’ is very useful in the business world. These people can often be seen as: manipulative, cold, possessive, ruthless and selfish, whereas they are really just good at making decisions not based on their current emotional state!
Because Brooders tend to be more detached from their emotions, they tend to FEEL more emotionally insecure under the surface (on a more unconscious level), and therefore less validated. This in turn can develop into a jealous, suspicious and sometimes paranoid side to their nature because they assume that everyone else thinks and feels the same way they do. A lot of effort is spent attempting (and usually succeeding!) to always be in control, in charge, on top of things. They often like to have everything organised, tidy, packed away in their own little drawer (with a label on the drawer explaining the nature and date of the contents). They tend to hoard things, because everything has a financial value – and they wouldn’t want to waste money or feel they have had to ‘let go’ of something.
In order to stay in control of their environment (their house, job, health, family, money etc.) they develop skills early in life, which help them to achieve this level of control: a strong ego, a focused sense of purpose, a self-righteous attitude, a methodical approach to life, and self-discipline. Due to their black and white thinking, and, perhaps, a disconnection from their emotions, Brooders often score highly on the ‘Revised Paranormal Belief Scale’ (Tobacyk, 1988) – a scale that measures just how many paranormal and ‘magical beliefs’ a person holds. They are the type most likely to have strong religious or spiritual beliefs, as they are the type most likely to hold ANY strong beliefs…
The Dramatiser
Dramatisers are people who readily and easily show you how they are feeling – through their spoken language and their body language.
Often liking to be the centre of attention, they tend to be quite extroverted. When attention is not forthcoming, they can feel ‘empty’ and insignificant. Bright, bubbly and exciting to be around, the Dramatiser tends to be the ‘life and soul’ of any party or the ‘star of the show’. People with this type of personality tend to push the boundaries of accepted social norms with their outrageous language and behaviour, sometimes pushing it just a bit too far.
Loud and gregarious, these people impress you with their (apparent) self-confidence. In reality, however, this show of confidence is often just that: a show. Dramatisers need the constant attention (external validation, more later) of others in order to feel good, and don’t tend to have an inner self-confidence. People who have this personality type tend to be over-reactive to criticism (in fact over-reactive to anything!). They are emotionally and physically dramatic. Everything about the way they act is exaggerated. To Dramatisers, life is displayed as either completely fantastic or unbelievably awful.
They tend to be very suggestible, and are, therefore, rather prone to reacting to their environment. Factors such as the weather and other people are likely to impact strongly upon their current emotional and physical state. A rainy cold day may result in misery, whereas bright sunshine is more likely to result in a buoyant mood. Additionally, Dramatisers are susceptible to responding strongly to self-suggestions. As soon as they think about and imagine something happening in a certain way they are likely to respond rapidly, both emotionally and physically, to that thought. For example, a Dramatiser who thinks, ‘I hope I don’t get ill’ and imagines that occurring may suddenly find themselves feeling rather unwell. This is the personality type who finds it most easy to convert emotion into physical symptoms (we call this ‘conversion hysteria’) such as: hysterical blindness, hysterical paralysis, globus hystericus (lump in throat) and other sudden-onset (catastrophic) type symptoms.
It’s not all bad though. They are usually very passionate and demonstrative lovers, and tend to be very good at making other people feel relaxed, secure and happy. Dramatisers are sociable, outgoing and friendly; the kind of people that are enjoyable company. When around them you will never run out of conversation or become bored (you might not get a word in edgeways though!). These tend to be the sort of people who always make you laugh, entertaining you with amusing impressions and jokes.
The Dramatiser also tends to be very creative. He or she may be found performing on stage, playing in a band, dancing or designing. Most famous actors, singers and performers have a strong ‘Dramatiser’ side to their personalities…
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