Scared to Overcome Emetophobia
A fear of being sick can really affect your life, yet it isn’t uncommon to actually feel nervous about overcoming it, despite its negative impact. We break down the reasons why this might be:
1. You believe your phobia is protecting you
You might think your phobia is protecting you from being sick, and that if you let go of your safety-seeking behaviours suddenly you’ll be sick or confronted with a sickness-related situation. We’ve studied all the research, and are still in contact with hundreds of ex-emetophobes and we can say with confidence this doesn’t happen – there’s no evidence that emetophobes are sick more often once they’re over their phobia. This is ‘magical thinking’ – the belief that your rituals, avoidance and control behaviours are protecting you from being sick, but this is an ‘illusion of control.’ And, of course, once you’re over your phobia you won’t mind sickness-related situations.
There might be other difficult things in life your phobia is ‘protecting’ you from: by maintaining safety-seeking behaviours and avoiding anxious or emotional situations, you can avoid having to deal with intolerable feelings, emotions and stress, and therefore feel safer and more in control of life.
2. You’ve built an identity around it
If you’ve had emetophobia for a long time it can be strange to imagine who you would be without it. If you’ve started the programme you’ll have learnt there are personality traits linked to emetophobia – such as being a perfectionist, being organised and high-achieving. You might fear these going away, as they’re a part of you – ‘I’m just a bit of a perfectionist’ or you think they benefit you; for example routine. The programme enables you to feel more in control and powerful over who YOU want to be (not who your emetophobia wants you to be), meaning you will change in some ways, but you’re in the driving seat of that, for example you can still choose to be organised, you just won’t feel stressed as well.
3. Secondary gains
We cover this in the book, it’s a bit of a tough one to grapple with. If you have low self-esteem and people pay you more attention/are nicer to you when you’re ill or have a psychological problem, it can feel really validating. If you can relate to this, there’s absolutely no criticism here, and it’s not your fault…EVERYONE, to a greater or lesser extent, wants love, care and attention from others, however for those with a (deep down) sense of worthlessness, reinforcement through love/care/sympathy can be really meaningful. You might think your mental health problems are the only legitimate ‘excuse’ to receive this attention. When you feel like this, you might also believe you don’t deserve to lead the best life you can and be happy, buoyant and thriving. Linking points no. 2 and 3, you might also feel ’special’ for being different, and have an identity around that.
Everything will feel a lot less frightening when you realise you can be in control of your life and who you want to be. As you build your self-esteem, you’ll be able to recognise all the great things about yourself: that you are a special, unique and brilliant person, and your phobia doesn’t define who you are. When you reduce your fear of being sick you won’t feel the need to protect yourself because you’ll know you can face up to and cope with anything and everything in life.
Focus on the destination instead of worrying about the journey to get there – focus on all the great things you want to get out of your life that your phobia is currently preventing you from doing. Imagine going on holiday or feeling relaxed around food, and remember that whatever small gains you may be getting from this phobia at the moment (like control, routine, support etc.), the gains from getting rid of it are, much, much bigger.
Please get in touch for more information on how to overcome your fear of being sick – we can discuss your needs and refer you to one of our brilliant Coaches!