Podcast : My Child is Having a Panic Attack - How Can I Help Them?

Understanding Panic Attacks and Emetophobia

Panic attacks are intense episodes of anxiety characterised by physical and psychological symptoms. For individuals with emetophobia, these attacks are almost always related to a belief they’re going to be sick.

What causes panic attacks and how can you prevent them?

The biggest misbelief is that panic attacks come out of nowhere and happen TO you, which only leads people to find them more terrifying. In actual fact people inadvertently ‘create’ panic attacks due to several factors:

Lack of Coping Skills: Fundamentally, panic attacks are a belief you can’t cope with something. For emetophobes, they believe they couldn’t cope if they were sick - they’d rather die. No one has panic attacks about things they believe they can cope with. Think of something you’ve always felt confident in - have you ever experienced anxiety, let alone panic, about that?

It’s important to help your child build up their coping skills, which is exactly what The Thrive Programme helps you do. A key way to do this is to stop avoiding ‘scary’ situations, so they can learn to tolerate discomfort and build coping skills. For example, if your child is scared of going to school because there’s a bug going around, it feels natural to alleviate their distress by allowing them the time off, but this avoidance only reinforces the belief that being sick is scary and they couldn't cope. Whether it takes an hour or several for them to calm down, if they can eventually make it in to school, they will feel far more powerful than if you immediately let them take the day off. Once they’ve calmed down continually talk to them about how powerful they are and how great it was they could calm themselves down, so by the time they get to school they feel better and won’t have another panic attack when they’re there. You could even explain the situation to the teachers and explain the best process to help the child to them.

Perceived Threat: People with emetophobia don’t believe they would cope if they were sick and see the perceived threat of feeling/being sick as something intolerable and a fate worse than death. But it’s not reality, it’s just a belief, just like everyone else, they COULD cope if they were sick, they just believe they can't. A gunman running into your house is a REAL threat, but emetophobes have the same panicked response about feeling/being sick. Most people don’t like being sick, but don’t believe it’s the worst thing in the world. Their panic, anxiety and emotions are real, but the perceived threat is not ‘reality.’

Teach Emotional Management: Managing emotions is one of the most important things you can teach a child. Identifying what they are and realising the emotions aren’t happening ‘to’ them, they’re creating them due to their thoughts and beliefs, is really key. Once they realise that their emotional reaction to being sick can be changed, they will start to feel more powerful and it can prevent panic attacks in the future.

Tunnel Vision: When they feel a little queasy (often caused by anxiety), or there’s a vomiting bug going around school, or they feel a bit full after eating, they will start to create lots of anxious thoughts which leads to tunnel vision and a loss of perspective. Because they can’t think of anything else other than their fear, and they can no longer reason with themselves or gain perspective that they WON’T be sick, they’ll descend into a full blown panic attack. Imagine it like a roller-coaster, 80% is the ascent and 20% is speeding down. If you help them calm down their anxiety in the ‘green zone’ of the ascent before the tipping point, you can help keep them in perspective and prevent a full-blown panic attack.

The need to Escape: Panic attacks can lead individuals to feel the need to escape or avoid the situation entirely. For children with emetophobia, this might manifest as a desire to leave school or other ‘triggering' environments.

5 Steps to help your child with a panic attack

Here are Rob and Michelle’s practical tips for managing a child when they’re having a panic attack:

1. Be a Calming Presence: When your child experiences a panic attack, it's crucial to remain calm. If you're feeling stressed or anxious, it will only exacerbate their panic. This can be hard to do - especially if they’re afraid of going to school and you’re going to be late for work, but the best thing you can do is stay calm. Imagine you’re on a bumpy flight and start to feel a little anxious - as soon as you see the flight attendants are calm you immediately feel calmer.
2. Avoid Invalidating Their Feelings: It’s easy to feel stressed and express that by being cross with your child, but telling them off will only make things worse. Avoid saying things like "you're being silly" or "it's not real." While the threat is indeed perceived and not real (they WOULD cope if they were sick), it's essential not to invalidate their feelings.
3. Help them calm down: help them take deep breaths, suggest going outside in the garden or for a walk, or tell them a joke to distract them and make them laugh - for example, ‘oh look I did a silly thing I put my jumper on the wrong way,’ which momentarily distracts them from their panic.
4. Be wary of reassuring them: everyone wants to make their child feel better, and reassurance is one of the easiest ways to do this. But telling them they won’t be sick only feeds the fear. It’s better to remind them they are powerful and can cope. If you do reassure them, counter it by reinforcing their personal power, i.e. ‘you won’t be sick, but if you were you would be absolutely fine, you’re powerful.’
5. Help them process their panic: After they’ve calmed down, discuss how they got through it. Reinforce that they calmed themselves down - they did it all themselves, they’re powerful. Ask them questions like "How did you calm yourself down?" “What does that show you about you?” And get them to write it down, so if they felt panicky again they could refer back to this to remind them how they got through it before.

Panic attacks related to emetophobia can be challenging, but with the right support and understanding, your child can learn to manage their anxiety effectively. The best way to completely overcome panic attacks is through taking your child through the Emetophobia Programme from The Thrive Programme.

Remember that you are their anchor during these episodes, and your calm, reassuring presence can make a world of difference. By empowering your child and helping them build coping skills, you can guide them towards a future where panic attacks no longer hold them back.